The beginning of the year.

Lots of good things happening to people around me. Just on blogosphere itself, we have: My good friend Irene is engaged!!! Am so happy for her! My primary school friend Wai Sum got promoted! Congrats! And my dear cousin Andrea was featured on the newspaper! Triple wow! 🙂

On a personal level, I have just been offered to be a columnist for a magazine on a trial basis. 🙂 If things work out well, they might offer me something long-term. Am really excited about that. This is my first ‘coup’ so to say in this area, and it reaffirms that I am heading in the right direction. 

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Things often work out in a very strange manner. Something good will happen when you least expect it.

For example, I never expected to meet Jamie. I was sick and tired of relationships, and I just wanted to enjoy my singlehood. I dreaded going to the Annual D&D, and it was actually Zarique who co-erced me to go under the pretext of building better bilateral ties. And I begrudgingly put on my turquoise short cheongsam, and some make-up and went. And it was there I met Jamie again. And the rest as they say… is history. 🙂

When friends ask me sometimes,

“How do I get hitched?”

“I have been searching high and low, but I still have not seemed to meet Mr. or Ms. Right.” I often give them various suggestions on where they can go or what they can do to increase their chances.

Now that I think about it, going to the right places, and doing the right thing is one thing.

But having the right mental attitude i.e. the right mindset is even more important.

I think… People are attracted to confident people. People in general do not like needy people. We like someone whom we can respect.People who know who they are. People who know where they are going.

In my line of profession, I have met so many singles who just rattle off a list of criteria that they are looking for in the future partner. I wonder, if they have taken time to sit back and think if it makes such a difference if the person is 2cm taller or shorter? Or if the person is more chatty or less? Or if the person is fairer or darker? Or if he/she is more attractive?

All these are the shell, the exterior. These are the qualities that the culture that we live in make us look for. We are constantly being bombarded by blown-up pictures of beautiful people. I was taking the MRT yesterday, and the OSIM u-zap campaign was in full blown. Fiona Xie’s beautiful figure was displayed for all to see.

It’s like.. we think if we do not have a partner who looks like that, or close to that, we are losing out. There’s so much pressure to conform. We want a trophy boyfriend / girlfriend / husband / wife.

However, if you ask me, what matters more is what’s inside, what’s really deep inside.

Do you share the same values? Are you going to grow together? Will this person help you be the best person you can be? Can you help the person live out his/her fullest potential? Can you imagine this person to be the father/mother of your kids?

I can still remember that heart-wrenching scene from Fantastic Four. When Ben turned into The Thing, and he went to look for his wife. His wife just could not accept that he has turned into such a monster. Perhaps she married him for his good looks, or she just cannot imagine waking up next to The Thing.

Whatever it is, the fact is… Ben is still Ben. Nothing has changed deep within him. It’s just his entire exterior has changed, he’s still the same person.

After being in the love industry for the past two years. I am beginning to understand it more.

So perhaps when I am asked the same question “How do I get hitched?” by my friends, I will say…

You are setting out on a journey, a wonderful journey… in search of this precious treasure.

First and foremost, do you think you have the pre-requisites to take this journey? Are you prepared to take this journey? Have you equipped yourself with the right skills and equipments? The road is going to bumpy sometimes, and you might meet some obstacles.

Secondly, do you have the map? Are you sure you have the right map? Just in case, the map you have is not the right one, do you have access to people along the way that will point you to the right direction?And finally, do you know how the precious treasure look like? When you get to your destination, there might be many different treasure masquerading to be the one you are searching for. Do you know of tools that can help you decipher whether it’s the real thing?

Your comments? Write me a love letter.

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