People have often asked me, "When a first date does not progress beyond a second date, what is the main reason?"
The answer given by singles is often the same.
"No chemistry."
When people talk about chemistry, they are hoping to feel the sparks, the 'electricity' or the flutter in the heart. But honestly, if you asked me, that's usually 'lust at first sight' and not 'love at first sight'.
Love needs not always be 'at first sight'. Let me share with you a Lunch Actually success story that I have just heard today. *super happy*
They are both from the financial industry. He is about 10 years older. When they first met at the first date arranged by us, she was actually not bowled over by him. In fact, she said, "Could you find me someone taller the next time?" and "I don't think I am comfortable dating someone who's not within my age group…" and "He talks a lot about work!"
What did touch her is his personality – his consideration and his kindness. Even though he was late for the first date, he apologized and bought her dinner (we do arrange dinner dates when requested by our clients ). And subsequently when he knew that a relative of hers was undergoing an operation, he checked on her right after the operation to see if everything went OK.
And now… a year later, after getting to know each other better, they have found the perfect match in each other. And they are tying the knot!!!
Love at first sight can be an extremely romantic notion. But if she has decided not to go on a second date, and subsequently a third and fourth date, because she did not feel the sparks at first… she would have missed out on the chance on finding her soul mate.
Hence, to all singles out there is… when you are contemplating a second date and you feel that there's no chemistry…
Give him/her a chance. Give yourself a chance. Give love a chance.