A while ago, I attended a relationship seminar. As part of my profession, I constantly go for seminars to learn from other experts. 🙂 And this time, it is a seminar by a couple – Shaunti & Jeff Feldhahn.
One of the most interesting takeaways I had from this particular seminar was…
Respect to Men is like what Love is to Women.
So what does that mean exactly?
A lot of times in a relationship… men and women have conflict… over money.
Especially when the man loses his job. Or the woman gets a pay rise, and now earns more than the man.
Sometimes, the woman loses respect for the man. She does not mean to. But we are so hardwired to think that the man is supposed to be the provider. He is supposed to bring back the bacon. And suddenly, when she becomes the main provider, the dynamics of the relationship begin to change.
Coming back to… Respect to a Man is what Love is to a Woman.
As a woman, we expect to be loved no matter what. We feel that we deserved to be loved by our man. No matter how good or bad we have been. It is supposed to be a given.
And hence, it is actually the same for a man. He expects to be respected no matter what. He does not need to earn it.
According to a research done by the Feldhahns, apparently, men are willing to leave a relationship if they felt they are constantly being disrespected, even though they knew for sure that their partners love them.
How does this apply to real life?
Was a speaker at a recent matchmaking seminar in Singapore. Was asked this question…
Violet, does a relationship work if the woman earns more than the man?
Actually, the crux of the matter here is not the salary. It is about each party playing their role. The woman can be the sole breadwinner, and the man can be a house husband and they still can be happy, if the woman shows the man that she respects him and his contribution to the family; and the man shows the woman love.
The problem is when the woman starts to resent the man for not bringing home the bacon, or start showing him contempt because she feels that he no longer deserves her respect.
In a relationship, it always takes two hands to clap. Respect and love come hand-in-hand. 🙂