Hi There

I found your blog on romance tracker. I wanted to ask you a question. I have a friend who I may have feelings for. I have never had feelings for someone before and it is pretty scary. Basically it makes my day to just get and email from her. What my question is, is how do I know whether she has feelings for me or not. I am an introvert so talking to her is difficult but we do have a friendship which I feel is pretty strong.

I know she is not ready for a relationship yet but I just want to know how I can see what her feelings are toward me. I am happy if it’s just friendship or if she might have feelings for me I can wait until she is ready for a relationship. I am 29 and she is about 32.




Dear Anonymous,

Thank you for your email! Sorry I have taken some time to get back to you, but I have been extremely busy. Hope it is not too late… 🙂

I think in any relationships, one of the most important ingredients is sincerity. Take tiny steps. If you ask her out for a date, and she does not decline you, she probably is looking to explore this relationship further. With each tiny step, you will have a better idea of her feelings for you. And as you get to know her better through each date, you will also know for yourself whether this is the right one for you.

There are many different levels of love. The type of love that we first experience is often ‘biological’. And sometimes ‘significance’ – wanting someone to be always there for us, having a companionship, or being seen as special to that someone.

However, the type of love that lasts a lifetime is a different type of love altogether. It is what I call ‘meaning’. As you have stated in your email, she might not be ready at the moment for a relationship. However, you can build ‘meaning’ with her. With both of you having a strong friendship, that is a good start. The best relationships or marriages are when the couple are best friends, and they just love to spend each and every minute with each other.

Here’s to wishing you all the best, and may you find your happiness soon! 🙂

Sincerely, Violet