“Do you think it’s ok to have children without getting married? (Assuming that the couple has been together for a long time and are in a monogamous relationship)”

pix_wedding.jpgThink this is a very relevant topic to tackle at this point for me. After being a first-time mum and experiencing the joy of seeing your own little miracle, I really believe that everybody should experience the miracle of having children, if you are able to.

However, should people have kids without getting married? That’s a totally different issue.

My first question would be, “If you have been in a relationship for a long time, and you are in a monogamous relationship, why do you NOT want to get married?”

I have met friends who are strong advocates of living together, and not get married. They say that, “Marriage is just a piece of paper; we do not need a piece of paper to show our commitment or prove our love.”

Ok, I am fine with that.

But if it is just a piece of paper, why not just get it?

It does not make a difference to you anyway right? But it would make a great difference to your kids when asked, “Why is your surname not your dad’s, but your mum’s?” I am not sure whether the rule still applies, but from what I last know, if you are not married, the kid takes on the mum’s surname.

People who are adamant of not getting married even though they are in a long-term monogamous relationship are usually ‘mismatchers’ or ‘rebels’. They thrive on being different. I believe all of us want to be individuals, we want to be different. However, the registration of a marriage is part of the legal framework of the civilized world to ensure that things run smoothly e.g. traffic lights, courts of justice etc.

Well, I am definitely not one to enforce my opinion on others. And I do not believe that my opinion is always right. I believe that everybody is entitled to their views and opinions. And I often am wrong.

But to answer the question, personally, I would not have kids if I am not legally married. 🙂

What about you? Would you have kids without getting married? What do you think?