You might be wondering… “Violet, am I supposed to expect an entry once a week from now on?” 🙂 Well, I am trying my best to update as often as possible. But I think the problem is… I do not want to blog for the sake of blogging, and I don’t get inspired as often as I would like to be, especially since I feel so tired and lethargic nowadays.
Anyway, I really should be in bed right now. But after tossing and turning for a bit, I decided to get out of bed and write this entry. My dearest husband is sleeping like a log. 🙂
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Lately, I have been wondering if I am truly adding value to the lives of the people that I serve.
You might think, why this sudden thought? It is strange, isn’t it? Here I am asking my members what they are looking for in their potential partners. And by asking them that, I am expecting them to truly know what they are looking for. And what if, the truth is… they really do not know. And maybe for the sake of not looking ‘indecisive’, they scribble in something on the forms and I start my search based on their ‘made-up’ criteria.
The question that I have been wondering is this… what if they do not even know themselves well enough? If they do not even know themselves, how are they supposed to know the type of person whom they are looking for. For example,Â what if by stating that they are not willing to date non-degree holders, or someone who’s older, they are actually ruling out the chance of meeting the love of their life.
You might then ask me… well, shouldn’t that be your job as ‘Miss Matchmaker’ to ensure that they do get matched? As I am supposed to be on the lookout for suitable matches. 🙂
Well, you are absolutely right… but what if they simply refuse to go on the date which I have thought suitable? Because their potential date just does not match 3 out of their 10 criteria.
It is quite a scary thought, isn’t it?
When I am a young girl, I had what I call the 3 golden rules. The man that I marry must be (a) taller than me; (b) smarter than me; and (c) he must love me. And of course there are some peripherals such as he must be outgoing, extroverted, the life of the party etc.
Jamie definitely surpass my 3 golden rules. 🙂 But he’s definitely not outgoing, not extroverted, and he rather be playing boardgame than be at a party. And if I have gone into the dating game being inflexible about my preferences, more likely than not, I would not have given this relationship a chance.
And the truth is, Jamie and I could not be two more different people. He loves in his own words, the “nerdy stuff”. And I have always more or less been in the “in” crowd. He loves the dark and gloomy weather of Manchester, and I rejoice at the sight of the sun! But somehow, we just complement each other so well.
Sometimes… I try so hard to tell my members to give their date a chance. To keep their options open. To simply loosen up and enjoy themselves. To not go into every date with a checklist. And to take each date as a learning and enjoyable experience. A date is not an interview. It is a chance to find out a bit more about the other person, and who knows… to even discover a little bit more about oneself.
What keeps me going now is to know that… there are people out there who are truly enjoying their dating experiences. Getting to know new friends, exploring new horizons, and keeping an open mind of what is yet to come. 🙂
What about you? What are your dating preferences? Did your mate meet your ‘checklist’ criteria? Do you think we should have fixed criteria? Or should we just go with the flow, as Forrest Gump said, ‘Life is a like a box of chocolates, you never know what you gonna get.’ 🙂
Tags: dating+criteria, dating+preferences, dating, love, romance, relationship, advice, dating+advice, dating+tips