I have been blogsurfing lately, and one constant theme that I have picked up on is ‘looks, appearances and dating’. Maybe it’s just that I am in this industry, thus I am more sensitive to picking up such ‘stories’… 🙂

Incident 1: There’s this Malaysian blogger, who blogged about her feelings on being single during the festive season – especially when she received a memo from her boss inviting her and her partner/spouse/other half – and she does not have anybody to bring. One of her readers actually commented that she’s ugly. Her other readers i.e. ‘fan club’ started to defend her and they rebuked the rude reader.

Incident 2: Today while driving to work, heard one of the radio DJs commented in Cantonese – “there are no ugly people, only lazy people.”

Incident 3: And then today at lunch… I met someone really obnoxious. Maybe as his colleague has gently put it… “his mouth is tough, but his heart is actually soft” (Cantonese)… but I just could not take his abuse of women especially with regards to women’s appearances.

He commented that there was this “fei poh” (fat woman in Cantonese) that was hired by his company. And apparently he is very disappointed by the recent recruitment standards of his company. Err… you are working in an auditing firm, not a modeling agency… should it matter?

Then he went on to describe the various methods he used to hire staff. E.g. he said to a married woman, “So you are married right? What if after I hire you… one day I ask you to pack your bag, and go off to Afghanistan for a job the very next day… what will you do?” Err… hasn’t he heard of discrimination? There are laws for these kind of things you know? You are not supposed to discriminate against married women.

Then he just went on and on about looks. About how there was this guy who’s not that great looking… and he asked him at the interview… “I don’t like your face, what are you going to do about it?” He thinks he’s being smart because apparently the guy handled the question quite well. The guy answered, “Oh ok, which part of my face do you not like? I can make changes to it.” I am not sure what to think about this company anymore…

And finally I just couldn’t take it anymore… I asked his colleague… “So… you mentioned earlier that this guy is not my target audience… is he married? Or attached?” His colleague told me that he’s married. I said very loudly (so that he would not miss it), “Oh, your wife must be very ‘jang’!” (gorgeous in Cantonese)


He proceeded to change the topic. And that was when his friend explained to me that he’s actually a nice guy, but just that he has a foul mouth. Wahlau… I just cannot take it!!! Usually, I am a person who just sit back, relax and would not make too many comments in front of people whom I meet for the first time. But with this guy, he really made my blood boil, and I just feel that I had to say something… I mean… how would he like it if other people were to make all the comments he had made about his wife, his sister or his mother? Seriously, please be more responsible with your words. . . . . . . . .

Actually these 3 incidents put me in a fix. Because yes – I do believe in the saying… “there are no ugly people, only lazy people”. And if I do believe in that, then does it justify for people like this obnoxious guy to say all these things? Maybe in his view, women who do not want to be ‘criticized’ in such a manner should lose weight if they are overweight or go for grooming classes if they are plain looking? And does it mean that the lady blogger who’s interested in dating should do something about her looks if she would like to appear more attractive to potential suitors? Or should she NOT bother about her outer appearances because she has a beautiful heart, and if they cannot see that, then it’s their loss?

It’s sad but at the end of the day – men are very visual creatures. Yes – you might be very beautiful inside, but upon first impressions, they are not ‘impressed’, it would take nothing less of a miracle to make them change their mind. Some people might then say, what about when you walk on the street, you see some really average girl with an attractive looking guy? How do you explain that? Anyway, this is getting depressing.

Are we truly that shallow? Your comments will be warmly embraced…

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Category: musings