As V-Day approaches, I thought I will just share with you 13 love songs that have touched me in some way or other. This blog post is actually inspired by the first song on the list. Out of the blue, this song just ‘jumped’ into my brain at me while I was sitting at my desk surfing through Facebook. 

1. How Could An Angel Break My Heart by Toni Braxton: “I wonder if she makes him smile, the way he used to smile at me, I hope she doesn’t make him laugh, because the laugh belongs to me…” I first heard this song when I was doing my A Levels in UK. Imagining myself in this situation, I can almost cry. It’s so poignant… and so heart wrenching.

2. Dreaming of You by Selena: “Late at night when all the world is sleeping, I stay up and think of you, And I wish on a star that somewhere you are, Thinking of me too…” It was the year 1999. Was driving a girlfriend home after school. We were listening to the radio. And this song was played. I kept saying… I won’t cry, I won’t cry. But I did anyway. Some songs bring back bittersweet memories. And in the year 1999, this was the song.  

3. Lady in Red by Chris de Burgh: “I’ve never seen you looking so gorgeous as you did tonight, I’ve never seen you shine so bright, you were amazing, I’ve never seen so many people want to be there by your side, and when you turned to me and smile, you took my breath away.” I first got to know this song through the Ms USA pageant in the 1990s… yup, you heard right! I was probably 13 or 14 then. They played Lady in Red during the Evening Gown parade. And the girly lass then secretly dreamt that perhaps one day, someone will serenade her with this song… haha!

4. I’ll be There by Club Escape: “Don’t be afraid, oh my love, I’ll be watching you from above, And I’d give all the world tonight, to be with you, Because I’m on your side, And I still care, I may have died, but I’ve gone nowhere, Just think of me, And I’ll be there.”

5. Butterfly Kisses by Bob Carlisle: “She’ll change her name today. She’ll make a promise and I’ll give her away. Standing in the bride-room just staring at her. She asked me what I’m thinking and I said “I’m not sure-I just feel like I’m losing my baby girl. With all that I’ve done wrong I must have done something right to deserve her love every morning and butterfly kisses at night.” They lyrics are just so weet. I love it so much that I chose this song to be played when my daddy walked me down the aisle in 2005.

6. Flying without Wings by Westlife: “Well, for me it’s waking up beside you, To watch the sunrise on your face, To know that I can say I love you, In any given time or place.” Extremely special song. This is the song hubby and I first slow danced to. At the Singapore Students’ Society Dinner & Dance in Manchester where we studied. We were led unwittingly to the dance floor by friends. And when this song came on, he asked me, “Shall we dance?”

7. Wind Beneath my Wings by Bette Midler:  “You were content to let me shine, that’s your way. You always walk a step behind. So I was the one with all the glory, You were the one with all the strain…” First got to know this song when my best friend sang it at the school assembly for a teacher who was retiring. Thought the lyrics were really meaningful. And at my wedding reception, I sang this song (together with my best friend) for my dearest daddy and mummy were have indeed been the wind beneath my wings.

8. Top of the World by Carpenter: “Something in the wind has learned my name, And its tellin me that things are not the same, In the leaves on the trees and the touch of the breeze, Theres a pleasin sense of happiness for me, There is only one wish on my mind, When this day is through I hope that I will find, That tomorrow will be just the same for you and me, All I need will be mine if you are here.” Such a simple tune. Yet so memorable. And uplifting. I have liked this song as a child. And surprisingly, hubby loves it to. Haha! So this is one of the songs that we sing to our darling babe.

9. Eternal Flame by The Bangles: “Close your eyes, give me your hand, darling” This is a classic. Brings back memories of my clubbing days. Going out with a group of girlfriends. Dancing on the dance floor. Singing the song out loud. OMG, talking about it now makes me feel so old…!  

10. Time after Time by Cyndi Lauper: “If you’re lost you can look–and you will find me time after time, if you fall I will catch you–I’ll be waiting time after time.” This song became popular again after the movie ‘Strictly Ballroom’. It brings back memories of my high school days, where we hold parties at friends’ houses. I can still remember one of the exact moments when this song was played on a friend’s stereo. The blushing cheeks, the sweaty palms. As each girl awaits a boy to ask her to dance on the makeshift dancefloor, cleared by the moving of the sofas and coffee tables.

11. Remember Me This Way by Jordan Hill: “I’ll make a wish for you, And hope it will come true, That life would just be kind, To such a gentle mind, If you lose your way, Think back on yesterday, Remember me this way.” When I was about 20, I had no idea how I would grow up to be. I had no idea how life would be in 10 years time. It just seemed appropriate to ask to others to ‘Remember me this way’…

12. Never Saw Blue Like That Before by Shawn Colvin: “And I never saw blue like that before, Across the sky, Around the world, You’ve given me all you have and more, And no one else has ever shown me how, To see the world the way I see it now, Oh, I, I never saw blue like that.” I first heard this song when hubby and I were still dating. And when I heard the lyrics, the first person who came to mind was hubby. He has really opened my eyes up to many things. To see the world in a different perspective. To look at others in a different light. I incorporated part of the lyrics of this song into my wedding vows.

13. 今生注定 by 高明骏/王馨平:”如果爱情烦恼真的太多, 或许心事都交给我, 为你耽忧对我来说 也是快乐” English Translation: The title of the song is ‘Destined to Be’. And the lyrics that I have chosen, “If you have lots of worry, just share them with me. Because even worrying for you, to me, it’s happiness.” Erm, that just does not seem to come out right. Haha! Anyway, hubby and I love this song very much. And, he sang it for me at our wedding. Many of my girlfriends were touched by his gesture because firstly he does not really sing, and secondly, he does not speak Mandarin…

Based on the songs I have chosen, you have probably (1) guessed my age, (2) come to the conclusion I have not listened to the radio for the past 10 years. Haha! Or I probably just love oldies.

What about you? What are your most memorable love songs?

P/S Have just put up a new poll for ladies… what’s your most ideal V-day present? Share, share!

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第一次在博客写中文. 哈哈! 是否有读者感到惊讶? Violet 竟然懂得中文? 是的, 我小学是念华校. 但其实我的中文挺rusty. 突然间心血来朝… 想用中文来表达自己.

昨天, 不知道为什么想起三位男生.

他们都是我在中学时要好的朋友. 在我最低落的时候, 他们陪伴着我. 当他们失恋的时候, 我也曾经是他们的”shoulder to cry on”. 哈哈! 他们挺machoçš„. 所以他们并没有哭. 只不过是一个metaphor.

还记得自己有一次失恋. 其中一位男生… 就叫他 L 吧… 陪了我去看电影. 还记得我选了黎明和舒琪主演的”玻璃之城”. 之后我还去了香港一趟! 因为I fell in love with the university… 哈哈! 现在想起来也觉得好笑! 有一晚我睡不着, 哭到眼睛都红了, 凌晨三四点拨了个电话给 L , 他立刻驾车过来, 陪我兜风.

另外一位男生 A. 在我留学英国的时候, 每几个月 A 就会寄一片卡带给我. 不是普通的卡带而是华文歌的精选. 都是他自己录的. 在海外买中文卡带很贵. 每次收到他的卡带, 都很感动. 卡带都已有十多年了, 卡带上的sticker也变黄了. 我还是不舍得把它们丢掉. 我想我就是这么sentimental.

还有 J . 曾经我们是很好的朋友. 每天放学过后都会通电话, 无所不谈. 煲电话粥已经是家常便饭! 记得在英国读 A Level 的时候, 他也可算是我的支柱.

如今, 他们都已结婚了.

我与 A 的感情还挺好的. 大家有空都会聚一聚. L å’Œ J 嘛… 偶尔在朋友聚会也会遇见他们. 我们会打打招呼. 但是说真的… 感觉上, å’Œ acquaintances 没什么不同. 我真的很想如以前那样, 可以走进他们的内心世界.

但是, 所谓岁月不留人, 友情也被时间渐渐地冲淡了.

想问的只不过是一句, “朋友, 你还好吗?” 但不知道为什么, 就是这么难说出口…

那么… 只好默默地祝福他们. 希望他们幸福,快乐.

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Dear friends,

How are you? Hope you have had a wonderful Christmas Celebration!

The reason you have not heard from me for so long is because… I am suffering from writer’s block! Yes, you heard me right! And this is the worst time to be hit with this, as I have recently be featured as one of the bloggers on “Notes from Venus“! (Much thanks to Anna & Gerry who believe in my work! You ladies are great!)… Btw, if you got to my blog from Notes from Venus, a very warm welcome to you!

Anyway, I have been extremely busy for the past couple of weeks… I can hear some of my close friends saying, “Yes Violet… what’s new?” Haha!

Just some updates… Christmas was fantastic. My parents were in town and it was good to catch up with them + they spending quality time with babe. Got some great presents, favourite one is from dearest hubby who gave me a mobile phone…! It’s a Nokia Navigator, which means I will never get lost again! Haha! Had the Lunch Actually team, alumni + spouses over at our place for our annual Christmas party. Had a blast playing games… And yes, the girls won AGAIN! Woohoo!

As 2007 draws to a close, it is time to look back at the outgoing year, make New Year resolutions for the incoming year.

2007 has been a year of ups and downs, hits and misses. But looking back, the highlight of my year in terms of my profession is not the media coverage that we are so blessed to have. It is not being the first South East Asian to be a panelist at the first Worldwide Matchmaking Conference. And even though I love Eteract to bits, it is not the official launch of Eteract in October. For me, the greatest sense of accomplishment is to attend the wedding of one of our couples in KL and to see the joy on their face, and to witness the beginning of their journey as husband and wife.

My profession as a modern-day matchmaker is sometimes a thankless one as many couples prefer to keep their relationships and marriages under-wraps. Maybe they are worried that we might publicise it without their consent. Hence, the experience of being thanked over and over again by this couple (until I myself feel paiseh/embarassed) reinforced my commitment to my profession and my desire to bring people together.

2007 is also a very special year for Jamie and I as we watch our babe grow from an infant to a toddler. I believe that parenthood is one of the most amazing journeys that one can take. To witness the first smile, the first crawl, the first tooth sprouting, the first stand, the first step, the first word… so many firsts… And to see the proud and victorious smile on his face when he knows that he has achieved another milestone. And to observe the determination and perseverance to keep going despite falling down.

Our babe actually taught us a lot this year. He reminded us that if you put your heart and soul to it, and if you refuse to take ‘no’ for an answer, and if you just keep trying, you are actually making incremental steps. It might be slow sometimes, but one thing for sure… you WILL get there.

2007 is a year about gratitude. I feel extremely blessed by all that have been given to me this year. I have received so much love and support from my family, my team, my friends, my business associates and my blog readers. And I am truly thankful for your endless encouragement. And most of all, I would not be who I am without the love, support and inspiration from my dearest hubby. Hubby, xie xie ni!

As the clock ticks away, and as I await the monumental fireworks on the 31st Dec 2007 in front of my TV screen, I will be looking forward to yet another year of great learnings, joyous experiences and wonderful friendships.

Dear friends, here’s to a fabulous and exciting 2008!

Love, Violet 

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Was with a group of Malaysians girls and guys the other day, dwelling on the topic of love and dating… and with patriotism running high, the focus inevitably transcends to how Singaporean men are not very good ‘daters’.

It is quite sad really, because not only the Malaysians are complaining. The Singaporean girls themselves are complaining about the Singaporean men.

They are too weak. They are not chivalrous enough. They make poor conversationalists. They are not gentlemanly.

A buzz phrase you hear among single Singaporean women is, “All the good Singaporean men are either attached, married or gay!”

That got me thinking actually. By the way, before I proceed any further, let me just state at this point that I am Malaysian, with a Singaporean PR. And I love my adopted country as much as I love my home country.

Ok… as I was saying, all this talk got me thinking. Is it true that Singaporean men ‘cannot make it’? Or do they have other redeeming factors?

The truth is, when I was at university, many of my guy friends were Singaporeans. And I was actually quite impressed with them. And many of them are people whom I keep in touch till today.

So, here are some endearing qualities that I find in Singaporean men that I have met… :) 

In the event of war, you are rest assured that they know how to use a gun. Yes, with the compulsory national service of 2 years, they undergo combat training. And to make sure their skills do not turn rusty, they go back every year for ‘reservist’.

You can always count on them to have tissue paper with them. I am one of those women who never carry tissue paper on me. I can always count on my Singaporean guy friends to have them. Very useful when you are eating katong laksa, and you need tissue to wipe your mouth.

Many of them can cook. I swear. They are fantastic cooks. My girlfriend and I went on a trip with 3 guys. And we did not need to do any cooking. This Singaporean guy prepared breakfast, lunch and dinner and it was absolutely delicious! I don’t know where they learn how to cook… maybe in the jungle while serving NS?

They are really sweet and chivalrous actually. I had this friend who knew the weakling I am, and offered to accompany me to the supermarket whenever I ran out of groceries. He knew for sure I couldn’t carry so much stuff. So he camealong to help me carry stuff. Yeah, yeah, some of you might say that he probably had a crush on you or something. But, seriously, I don’t think so. Think he was just a very thoughtful and nice friend.

And last but not least, you have to respect the ‘camaraderie’ and comradeship. Every Singaporean man would have a group of friends call their ‘army friends’ or their ‘platoon mates’ or their ‘BMT friends’. Once in a while, they would go out with the boys, and catch up on how they played tricks on each other, or their sergeant or their platoon commander. And when they do that, though I pretend to be bored… it always brings a smile to my face…

Singaporean men might not be as romantic as the French, as passionate as the Spanish, as suave as the Italian, as well-dressed as the Hong Kongers, as good-looking as the Japanese… but they are really quite dateable… once you have taken time to know them better and discover the hidden gems.

After all, I am a trusted authority as I married one.

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1. Search up a great image consultant. Revamp my image. Get a new haircut. Have a complete makeover. As they say, first impressions count.

2. Enroll in a personal makeup class. Learning from the magazines is going to take too long a time. Knowing the right techniques and skills can immediately make me feel more confident.

3. Set aside at least 2 going-out nights a week. Never mind I have no plans as yet. I will fill it up.

4. Read recommended dating and relationship books. Even if I just get one or two tip from each book, it’s worth it.

5. Search up my old address books and start establishing contacts with long lost friends or colleagues. You never know where you will find love. Or they might know of someone who is a good match for me.

6. Take up a new hobby that I have always wanted to do. Re-discover my passion for life, as people who are passionate about life are attractive.

7. Be a happy person. Men searching for love are looking for a woman to make their life happier. Nobody wants to date a girl who is negative and complains all the time.

8. Join one or two reputable dating service. It’s all about casting your net wider. There probably are some quality men who join dating services that I would not meet on my own.

9. Make myself available. Let my friends know directly or subtly that I am up to being a fourth wheel should she go out with her boyfriend and boyfriend’s friend.

10. Go for networking events. Be friendly and approachable. Be genuinely interested in people. And follow up whether it’s a girl or a guy. You will never know who you will be introduced to by my new friends. It’s always good to be widening my social circle.

11. Hire a dating coach. It’s better to know where I am screwing up, and what action steps I can do to drastically bring me up the learning curve.

12. Stop wasting time staying at home. Realize that I am not going to meet any single and available men by staying at home doing my laundry.

13. Stay positive. Because I know that the most important thing is to have a positive mindset. Things might not go my way in the beginning, and I might even encounter many challenges along the way. The important thing to know is that I am getting closer to my objective with each step that I take.

 

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Have been reading a lot about errant taxi drivers in the Singapore newspapers in the last week or so… I think there must be some pretty dodgy taxi drivers out there… especially in my home country Malaysia… but I thought with all the bad press about taxi drivers, it warrants a writeup about 2 extremely nice taxi drivers that I have met…

Taxi Uncle #1

Brought my babe to United Square for his playgroup. When we were done, it was raining, and we hailed a cab. Told uncle that I lived quite nearby actually. Uncle said, “Don’t worry, near then near lo… money also ma…” When we reached home, uncle took the effort to reverse into the shelter. “Slowly, slowly, take your time. Money is yours then yours. Don’t worry!” “Check that you have everything hor! Don’t hurry!”

In my hurry, fumbling with the umbrella etc., I forgot to check thoroughly before I left the cab… and sure enough, I realised later that I have misplaced one of babe’s shoes! And it’s not any shoe… it’s the Osh Kosh shoes that his gong-gong and po-po bought him which cost $39…! (I would have never bought him such expensive shoes…, anyway…) Made a report to Lost & Found, but did not have high hopes.

Later in the night, found out from the domestic helper that Uncle actually came back and return babe’s shoes at about 5.30pm. I figured that he was changing shifts then. And he actually bothered to come back to return a shoe… I mean… wow! I am truly grateful to the uncle!

So, babe is back to wearing his Osh Kosh shoes again… hehe!

Taxi Uncle #2

After a long weekend, I took the cab to work. Was having a chat with the uncle about his work, his family etc. Very impressive, all his kids are graduates. And he was sharing with me his work motto etc.

As we approach the destination, I realised… oops! I did not have enough cash in my wallet… spent all my cash over the weekend, and did not have an opportunity to withdraw money from the ATM.

Then I said, “Oh no uncle… I do not have enough money to pay you… I give you everything that I have ok?” Then he said, “Aiyah, it’s ok. Money is not everything. You just give me whatever you have lo.” I think I paid him almost $2 short. Considering the cab fare was $7, that’s close to 30% of the fare…

So nice of him right? Did not grumble or complain or scold me. Lesson learnt… must check my wallet before I leave the house.

So, even though there are many errant cab drivers out there, there are many that are very nice too!

What about you? Do you have any stories of your encounters with cab drivers to share?

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Attended KL’s first wedding last week. We already have had quite a number of marriages in Singapore. But in KL, this is the first.

I feel very honoured to be invited these weddings. There are some couples who invite us. Some who invite their dating consultants. Some who come by to the office with gifts for us. And of course, some who never even tell us they are getting married. Haha!

I used to be quite disheartened by that. But I have started to accept that some people would rather not let others know that they have met through a dating agency. And perhaps, they are worried that if we know that they have met someone through us, and gotten married, we will hound them for testimonials, media interviews etc. And truth is, if they tell me no one time, I will respect their privacy.

Let’s come back to the KL couple. When they registered their marriage earlier this year, I was so happy. I do not know the lady client well, but I have spoken to the guy many times over the phone. And he is really one of the nicest clients I have met.

Then I asked him, “Hey, do you have any photos of the marriage registration?”

“Ya, of course.”

“Send me some la…!”

“Erm…”

“Aiyah, you think I am going to put on my website meh? No la, I just want to see and bask in your happiness la…”

“Oh ok ok, I email you now.”

Haha! Think our dating and matchmaking industry really must have a bad name… for people to be so weary and cautious.

Talking about this couple, I am really like SUPER happy for them. Especially because this guy is really so extremely nice. He’s polite to all the dating consultants, never rude or abusive. And he is so appreciative. At the wedding, I think he said thank you to me like for 5-6 times. So many times until I also feel paiseh (shy). When he met me at the door, when he showed me to my seat, when he came around for the wine-toasting, when he came around for photo-taking, when we (Jamie and I) were leaving… and he looks so grateful.

He kept saying, “Without you, there will be no wedding.”

OMG. That’s the biggest compliment someone can pay me.

I still remember my first phone conversation with him.

He told me. “Violet, you know, actually I am all set to get married. I have a car. I have a house. I have a stable career. But I just have not met the right one…”

My consultants and I helped him and give him some pointers here and there. And we could see that his progress with his dates are getting better and better.

One of my 3rd or 4th phone calls with him. I called him to check in.

And he said, “Violet, guess where am I now?”

“Where?”

“I am outside her house”

“What are you doing there? OMG, don’t tell me you are stalking her!”

“No la, she invited me home to have dinner with her family!”

“Wah!!! Well done… quite fast ha… think your first date was only a few weeks ago?

“Ya ya”

“Very good, very good! So how, what did you buy for her parents?”

“Ha? Must buy something ar?”

*FAINT*

“Of course la, if not go with empty hands? What kind of impression will you make?”

“Ok, ok… she’s not home yet, I will go buy something now…”

Think he eventually bought either some fruits or chocolate.

The funniest thing was… his then girlfriend now wife actually suspected that something was amissed. Because she knew him so well that she was shocked to see that he has bought something! Haha! So much later, he confessed to her that it was because he had this conversation with me!

When things are down. When I have a bad day at work. When I wake up on the wrong side of bed, wondering if all these are worth it. I will think of couples such as this one. Knowing that I have made a small difference in their lives. This is what makes everything worth it…!

To this wonderful couple, may your marriage be always blessed with love, joy and happiness…!

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