Came across this theory by Robert Sternberg recently… and thought I would share it with you.

According to him, for a relationship to last, and to grow with time… the couple must experience 3 things:

Passion, Intimacy and Commitment, in no particular order. He describes passion as physical and sexual attraction. Intimacy is the closeness and the connection, especially in communication. And commitment is easiest describe as marriage. And the strongest relationship is a relationship where all these aspects grow at the same rate like an equilateral triangle.

If there is only passion, that is called infatuation.

If there is only intimacy, that is called friendship.

If there is only commitment, that is called empty love.

If there is passion and intimacy, but no commitment, that is romantic love.

If there is passion and commitment, but no intimacy, that is fatuous love.

If there is intimacy and commitment, but no passion, that is companionate love.

If there is passion, intimacy and commitment, that is the most ideal of love… consummate love.

Many marriages, as time goes by, end up in ‘empty love’ as the passion is gone, and the intimacy too wanes. And the only thing holding the marriage together is the commitment.

Or in other marriages, the passion is there… but there is no communication. The couple simply does not grow together, and their paths hardly converge.

I thought his was a great theory because it helped to explain many of the relationships that I have come across. Of course, theory is often easier said than done. But, let’s all strive to achieve the equilateral triangle! Jiayou!

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After some hectic weeks, finally had some quality time with the family. Brought babe to East Coast Park. It was his first Beach day-out! We built sandcastles, had ice-cream (at least hubby and I did), and cycled around the park on a family bike. It was my first time on a family bike… and at first, we had some problems coordinating. But after that, we were like pros, making u-turns etc. And the best thing is to see babe smiling and enjoying himself.

Looking forward to more of todays.

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A soon-to-be colleague said to me yesterday… Happy Birthday in advance!

“How did you know my birthday is tomorrow?”

“I read your blog ma! Last year you went to National Museum right?”

Haha… it’s quite funny/scary how much personal info I reveal on my blog…

Ok, so anyway, today is my birthday! I turn 28! Hooray! For some reason or other, I do not seem concern I am hitting the big 3 soon… maybe when I really hit it, it would provoke some sort of reaction… but the signs of aging are definitely showing. My metabolism rate has slowed down a lot and the crow lines are beginning to show. With my slow metabolism rate, I put on weight very easily. Saw myself on TV the other day… and was really aghast to see how much weight I have put on… Hence, have embarked on a healthy diet… wish me luck!

How did I celebrate my birthday?

Jamie and I decided to take the day off, and bring babe for a day out! It was pretty impromptu and spontaneous. We first went to Sim Lim Square where Jamie bought me my birthday present - an iPod nano! It’s gorgeous, and even as I am updating my blog, I can’t help but keep admiring it… (Yes, I am such a gadget chic)

We had lunch across the street where Corum met a little friend who is one day older than him. What a coincidence right?! But since they both can’t really talk to/with each other, his little friend went on his way soon after with his gramps.

Then, we decided to go to the Singapore Flyer. The taxi driver warned us that it is not open in the afternoon. But we thought what the heck… let’s just go take a look.

And we ended up at a ‘Fish Spa’. Not sure if you have heard of it, but you basically have swarms of fishes swirling around your feet, and nibbling at your skin. It’s supposed to be good for blood circulation, people who have eczema problems etc. Me being the adventure junkie cajoled Jamie into trying it out. And it was definitely an unique experience. It’s not painful or anything. And after you conquer the initial weirdness of having fishes ‘biting’ you… it’s actually quite enjoyable. The good people at Kenko also helped us look after Corum while we got our ’spa’ therapy.

Then, we head off to Vivocity where Corum had so much fun at the playground! It was such a lovely feeling seeing how much he enjoyed himself going up and down the big blue slide.

We capped off the evening with ice cream at Ben & Jerry’s. We had Brownie with Ice Cream to substitute for my birthday cake. And Corum gets to taste a small bit of Cookies & Cream. I love seeing his expression when he tastes new food… you can just see him relishing every single bite.

It’s been a wonderful day! Thanks to my dearest hubby for arranging everything.

And also thank you to all who have either SMSed, emailed, called, MSNed or wrote on my wall in Facebook to wish me Happy Birthday. Thank you for remembering my birthday. Am feeling truly blessed and contented and happy!

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Hiya,

Hope you have had a wonderful Valentine’s Day celebration…! Just got back from my V-Day date with hubby!

Will update again soon… meanwhile, have a fabulous day ahead!

Sincerely,

Violet

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Dear friends,

How are you? Hope you have had a wonderful Christmas Celebration!

The reason you have not heard from me for so long is because… I am suffering from writer’s block! Yes, you heard me right! And this is the worst time to be hit with this, as I have recently be featured as one of the bloggers on “Notes from Venus“! (Much thanks to Anna & Gerry who believe in my work! You ladies are great!)… Btw, if you got to my blog from Notes from Venus, a very warm welcome to you!

Anyway, I have been extremely busy for the past couple of weeks… I can hear some of my close friends saying, “Yes Violet… what’s new?” Haha!

Just some updates… Christmas was fantastic. My parents were in town and it was good to catch up with them + they spending quality time with babe. Got some great presents, favourite one is from dearest hubby who gave me a mobile phone…! It’s a Nokia Navigator, which means I will never get lost again! Haha! Had the Lunch Actually team, alumni + spouses over at our place for our annual Christmas party. Had a blast playing games… And yes, the girls won AGAIN! Woohoo!

As 2007 draws to a close, it is time to look back at the outgoing year, make New Year resolutions for the incoming year.

2007 has been a year of ups and downs, hits and misses. But looking back, the highlight of my year in terms of my profession is not the media coverage that we are so blessed to have. It is not being the first South East Asian to be a panelist at the first Worldwide Matchmaking Conference. And even though I love Eteract to bits, it is not the official launch of Eteract in October. For me, the greatest sense of accomplishment is to attend the wedding of one of our couples in KL and to see the joy on their face, and to witness the beginning of their journey as husband and wife.

My profession as a modern-day matchmaker is sometimes a thankless one as many couples prefer to keep their relationships and marriages under-wraps. Maybe they are worried that we might publicise it without their consent. Hence, the experience of being thanked over and over again by this couple (until I myself feel paiseh/embarassed) reinforced my commitment to my profession and my desire to bring people together.

2007 is also a very special year for Jamie and I as we watch our babe grow from an infant to a toddler. I believe that parenthood is one of the most amazing journeys that one can take. To witness the first smile, the first crawl, the first tooth sprouting, the first stand, the first step, the first word… so many firsts… And to see the proud and victorious smile on his face when he knows that he has achieved another milestone. And to observe the determination and perseverance to keep going despite falling down.

Our babe actually taught us a lot this year. He reminded us that if you put your heart and soul to it, and if you refuse to take ‘no’ for an answer, and if you just keep trying, you are actually making incremental steps. It might be slow sometimes, but one thing for sure… you WILL get there.

2007 is a year about gratitude. I feel extremely blessed by all that have been given to me this year. I have received so much love and support from my family, my team, my friends, my business associates and my blog readers. And I am truly thankful for your endless encouragement. And most of all, I would not be who I am without the love, support and inspiration from my dearest hubby. Hubby, xie xie ni!

As the clock ticks away, and as I await the monumental fireworks on the 31st Dec 2007 in front of my TV screen, I will be looking forward to yet another year of great learnings, joyous experiences and wonderful friendships.

Dear friends, here’s to a fabulous and exciting 2008!

Love, Violet 

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Last weekend was a hectic rush for me!

Attended a girlfriend’s wedding in KL (Malaysia), left at 10pm (after the 4th course is served), boarded the 11pm coach back to Singapore. I am used to this crazy rush. But this time was slightly different as Jamie and I brought babe with us. Luckily babe was very cooperative and was sleeping most of the time. Was really worried that babe was going to be one of the babies who will scream his head off and keep the whole bus awake… And, we arrived at about 5am!

So why the mad rush? Well… it’s because last Sunday… 30 of our members have volunteered their time to deliver goodies to needy families all around Singapore. So 15 guys, 15 gals in 15 cars were driving around the island delivering goodie bags! They are really heavy by the way!

When I first heard of the event, I was worried that I would not have enough time to gather enough people. We thought even if there were only 5 cars, we would be happy with the turnout. But turned out that we had an overwhelming response! At the end, we had 15 cars!

Here are some photos.

The BB Boys loading the bags into the cars.

 

When the media heard of the event, they decided to cover it. Managed to catch some photos of our members being interviewed.

 

This is a really meaningful charity project. If you would like to do your part, all you have to do is to drive into the Boys Brigade Headquarters at 105 Ganges Avenue, load some goodie bags into your car, and deliver them to the needy families. Their target is to deliver 100,000+ bags to about 50,000 needy families before Christmas. And, they still have a lot more bags waiting to be delivered.

For more information, please visit http://www.bbsgb.org.sg/contact.html

Thank you in advance for your support!

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Hello!

Thought that I have left the last poll up for too long…! Well I did get more than 300 replies for you guys, and the verdict is… the biggest first date put off is if your date complains about everything under the sun. So, even though we can’t resist a good b***hing session once in a while, the first date is definitely not the place and time! 

As Christmas is just around the corner, thought it would be fun to have a more ‘Christmasy’ survey… go vote now!

Love, Violet

P/S I met up with the beautiful and talented VJ/model/host/actress Choy Wan today! And she’s super friendly and down-to-earth! Not a prima donna at all… As for under what circumstances I met up with her, well I can’t tell you until next Sunday… Meanwhile, stay tuned!

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